Jenna Wolf: Isabel Gillies was a budding actress in New York City
with a recurring role on "Law and Order: SVU" when she and her husband made a decision to move their family to Ohio
to pursued his career as a Professor. All appeared perfect on the outside until her husband left her for another woman- we
have to keep bringing this up- Isabel writes about the painful experience in her new memoir called "Happens Every Day".
Isabel, good morning, thanks for being with us.
Isabel Gillies: Thank you
JW: We've only mentioned it 16 times, I hope it's not starting to affect you.
JW: You never really intended to write a book. When you started this whole project, this was just notes
on your memo part of your Blackberry, right?
IG: Yeah, I have two children and this story in your life, your story just sit in you and one day my
current husband gave me a Blackberry and I was in one of the classes that you know you are constantly going to with your children
and sitting there. Although they are very amusing and you like watching them do Gymnastics, I suddenly found myself typing
away on my Blackberry and the story was coming out. So eventually I thought I better do this properly and went to the library
and starting writing.
JW: Why would you want to turn this into a book, or turn this into a story that other people are going
IG: Well I think, first of all, people told me kind of "You should write this down", because the story
is it happens every day, it sorta is a normal story. I mean lots of people have hard things happen to them, divorces, you
lose part of your life, you lose your house, you lose whatever it is. But how I was fighting my way through it and navigating
the difficulty was people were like "you should write this down so other people can hopefully learn something."
JW: Well the book is pretty emotional and parts of it really are, on page 168, if you are following
at home, describe how you felt knowing that your husband you named Josiah in the book was no longer in the marriage. You wrote,
"my heart felt like it weighed 30 pounds. I held my tears back every second of every day if they did come out it was when
I was talking to friends on the phone. The only place I felt comfortable allowing them out was the shower. I would crouch
on my hands and knees, water falling and tears pouring out, wailing and heaving." This is very emotional, very vivid.
Was it hard to get some of it out on paper?
IG: Well, I'm an actress and I think any of the arts- if you're an actor, writing, or painter- what
your job is what to get what's going on inside out. That process of-
JW: There's something theraputic about that too is there not?
IG: There is, there is something theraputic about it and so it felt kinda like I was acting while I
was writing. I would be just typing away and the tears would be streaming down and just went through it.
JW: Sure...waterproof keyboards...yeah of course
IG: yeah, waterproof keyboard, the people at the library [looking over]
IG: But that part about you know how to get the sad part out in the shower and the private moments is
important. I had to get through the day, I couldn't be in a mess and a wreck. You kinda want to be at the bottom of the bed
but you can't, you gotta make the oatmeal and make the beds and it's important in getting through something like that.
JW: I was talking about you when reading in the book, it didn't sound like it was bitter at all, because
it wasn't bitter and you said that's cause it wasn't bitter, it was painful, we wanted to make sure it was okay for the kids
and you dedicate this book to your two boys. How important is that and did you want them to know the story, to be able to
read the story when they get older?
IG: Yes- what I think what's important is to be able to tell whatever happens to your life to your children
in a honest, open way and I tried to be and I feel very positive about my life, I felt it then and I feel it now. So I wanted
to write a truthful yet positive account of what happened in their lives so they can put together their own history.
JW: They are young right?
IG: Yeah, they are little, four and seven.
JW: And has your husband read the book?
IG: Oh, yeah, yeah
JW: You guys are friends now? Not your current husband, your ex husband...
IG: I remarried, everyone has read the book
IG: Yeah, my ex-husband and I are friends and we have this common goal which is the happiness of our
children. So however we choose to get to the goal is sorta our own business and then have to have good faith in that the other
one's doing it in for that goal too. So you know it's one big weird shaped happy family.
JW: Excellent. 'Happens Every Day' by Isabel Gillies. Thank you so much for being with us this
IG: Thank you.